Summertime!

It's summer time. What can I say? When it's sunny, we are playing outside. When it's not, I am going crazy, I mean, we are playing inside. There's no time for anything else! When do I do laundry, clean, blog? It's not happening these days.

Going on family vacation to the beach soon. Meeting my dad after 21 years soon. Having more visitors of all kinds soon and possibly taking a trip?! Am I insane?

I'll be back. Just give me a little time.

Along about July, it'll be too hot to do anything. Maybe I'll blog then!

Grandma story #6

A couple years ago, I was surprised to meet this special lady, and I haven't been able to forget it ever since. I was attending a baby shower for my little sister and I sat down next to a very nice looking lady who I did not know, though she looked friendly enough. She told me her name, and I told her mine. And I asked how it was that she knew my sister. She told me she was part of the family from the hometown, as in the place where I was born, as in part of my biological family, a group of people I was very careful about with whom I spent my time. I had a little heart problem. But, I did NOT know her. A light turned on in my brain. You see, I knew at that moment, she must be the wife of my father, my biological father, who I didn't really want to see, you know, to protect my heart. And since it was not my party, and she was a nice lady, I was friendly, but I really wasn't comfortable.

When I left, she told me, she hoped to see me again one day. Which really reminded me of this other mother I have (which is why I am writing about all these 'grandmas'), but that is another post. And what she said, it really stuck with me. It was a seed that made this year of reunions bloom. I am looking forward to seeing her again, but more than that, I am thrilled to see her man again. That's my Dad!

Grandma story #5

This Grandma story is for the Oma. Hey Oma! ( She reads me sometimes!) We only met her this year. When I say 'we', I mean my children. It was an exciting reunion and you can read about it over here. While we are just getting to know her, it's been good. And, we look forward to many more wonderful years with her.

grandma story #4

This post is for the Mimi. That's what the grandchildren call her. She's the mama who raised me from 7 on up.

Like most mother/daughters we have a relationship with many complexities. We are so different in many ways, yet so alike at the same time. I hate to admit that, but it's true.

I can't fathom how she went about bringing 3 strange children into her home on a moment's notice. She worked hard, right alongside my father, to be sure we had a happy childhood, full of experiences and memories. In spite of that, there are bad memories too. And that has put a strain on our relationship. It's not that we have a bad relationship, but that it's never been a really good relationship.

Romans 8:28 promises God lovers that He will work out all things for good of those who love Him. I believe that my mom loves God. I love God. If we go about the purpose that He has called us to, can't he also work out our relationship with one another for good?

I am called to be an 'at home' mama. My mom was not. She wants me back in my career, so that my degree isn't wasted. I believe the best use of my education degree is at home, instructing my children. My 'Mother's Day' question is this: Given these differences of opinion and value, can't my life still honor my mother and the values she instilled in me? The interpretation may be different, but the desire to serve God and live according to His plan is not different.

My hope is that she be satisfied with my satisfaction. My disappointment in her is that she is disappointed in me. Now, she wouldn't tell you that, but her attitudes and words to me stem from that belief.

My joy is in my Savior, my Redeemer, my King. My desire is that He is satisfied with the work he IS completing in me (I'm no fool, for I know He is not finished!). He directs my path (and help me Lord to continue on that path). For a long time I struggled because I thought her path and His path should be the same, but now I see it differently.

I love her and I am eternally grateful to her. I hope my life honors her.

Freedom

This message really spoke to me this morning. I've been doubting myself, my character and my abilities as a sister, mother, daughter, woman of God these past couple weeks.

I prayed for a fresh word from God as I scrubbed my floors to desired perfection this morning. This is what I read:

Psalm 139:14

I will give thanks to You,
for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.

It's healing to use God's word in the battle against the deceiver. And this song. Well, it's good too. And I am cringing over all these broken grammar rules, but I see it's not about perfection, so I leave the errors today.

How I became a mother... Part 3

You can read the beginning of this story here and then here.

The physical part of the pregnancy really wore on me. I think it my emotional state may have contributed to my problems. I was diabetic, but I remained active. I finished teaching that first school year and then walked a mile everyday, even up to the day my girl was born. I think I was trying to get away to somewhere else. It didn't work. Thank God. it didn't work.

Labor was to be induced. The doctor was concerned for her health. Anxiously, we checked in to the hospital. Did I mention I had not received any coaching or taken any classes? They cost $50 and do you know how many bags of dried beans and rice that would be me? I couldn't rationalize spending that much money on a class!

Therefore, the nurse who checked me in and plugged me up to the monitors, the iv, etc gave me a quick lesson.

I was told to monitor my pain on a scale of 1-10. Apparently I didn't do to well with that.

Water was broke at 1pm. At 4 pm, there was a shift change and the new nurse comes into check my stuff. She takes one look at me and asks how I am feeling... I'm okay, but it is getting more intense, I admit. Next thing I know, she is pounding, literally pounding the button to call a nurse. Hmm... a nurse calling a nurse? That doesn't seem right. Several people start wheeling apparatuses into the room and suddenly my room is full of people!

Labor became very intense, but I was breathing okay. I felt like it was time to push. Didn't really know what that would feel like until I actually felt it. That is some intense pressure! And they are all telling me NOT TO PUSH! DO NOT PUSH! So, me, all natural me, says, you are going to have to give me some drugs if you don't want me to push! You see, I imagined 8-12 hour labor. And I thought, I can't endure this another minute, let alone several hours. And the nurse says to me, there's no time! And I say, what do you mean, no time?! And she says, honey, you are having this baby as soon as the doctor gets here. Now it's about ten minutes after 4. Instantly, I throw myself back into the bed and sigh, Oh! At the same time, I am complaining of the heat, would someone please turn on the a/c? At the same time, my doctor walks in the room, throws the gloves on and says, PUSH! I say, I can push?! He says, YES! So, I push. Another minute later, I am cradling my newborn baby girl.

Then the most miraculous thing happened, the guilt washed away. The worries over tomorrow washed away. The feeling of inadequacy washed away. It would all return weeks later, but at that moment,I was able to see her for the true blessing she is. All that stuff that God had supplied through our friends and family seemed so insignificant. Because you can't have a baby if you don't have the stuff, can you?

A brand new person, new to the world. Created by God in my womb. That's the stuff of miracles. That day I became a mom. And my world changed. My perspective changed.

And that's how I became a mother.

grandma story #3

I am telling Grandma stories in honor of 'Mother's Day'. It's taking me longer than I thought it would, but there's a lot of Grandma types in my life and I've had something of a stressful week!

This grandma has been in my life a bit more than 10 years now. She married (biological) Grandpa after we were adopted and before we were reunited. So, she came along with the reunion.

This grandma inspires me. We share a love for Jesus, reading books, correct grammar and many more things. I've seen her (and Grandpa) grow their own vegetables (and flowers!), can those vegetables (and I helped!) make bread, sew amazing quilts, and another dozen things my brain is too tired to remember at the moment. She's even helped me with my taxes!

I've learned much from her and I am so thankful to know her!