1.28.2009

25 random things about me

1. I Heart Jesus. Very. Much.
2. I Heart my husband. Very.Much.
3. He pushes me out of my comfort zone and makes me a better person for it.
4. I've had three children born since 2005.
5. Their initials are TLC...each and everyone of them!
6. I play the piano. My fingers ache for a keyboard to express some emotion!
7. I have a big family.
8. I was adopted when I was 7.
9. So, I have two sets of parent plus all the aunts/uncles/cousins to go with. Wow! That's a lot.
10. This year, I have begun building a relationship with my 1st set of parents. It's scary and rewarding at the same time.
11. I am a knitter.
12. I like to be barefoot- even in winter- cause you know...it gets so cold down here!
13. My husband and I live on one income and it is enough.
14. I make yogurt and bread from scratch- and lots of other things from scratch too.
15. I taught at a private Christian school for 3 years and loved every minute of it.
16. I like to memorize scripture.
17. I've breastfed my baby on Folly Beach.
18.I've played with my babies in the sand at sunrise on the beach at Isle of Palms. It's the best because there's very few people out there at that hour!
19. I like rootbeer floats made with chocolate ice cream.
20. I pretty much like chocolate.
21. I sing old hymns to my children.
22. I only listen to Christian radio.
23. I prefer to read a book or knit than to watch tv.
24. Unless it's Jack Bauer.
25. Wow! I can't believe I made it! I like my eggs best fried in lots of butter!

Noah's ark

There is some construction being completed in the Netherlands...

1.27.2009

Significance

Several years ago, I read and completed the workbook by Robert McGee, The Search for Significance. Billy Graham has said it is a must read for Christians. I remember the book having a phenomonal impact on me then, but as I rework through it, I believe God has even more work to accomplish. This is going to be interesting! The first thing I am realizing is that I still deal with insecurity. When I place my security in Christ, I am able to live a life free of fear. And that is pretty awesome.

1.22.2009

Happy Birthday to my honey

It's my honey's birthday. We have a busy weekend ahead, so I won't be posting for a few days.
This one is for you, my sweet husband.

I love you so much, I just can't say.
My love for you grows more and more each day.
You help and encourage,
You keep me going each day.
Without your sacrifice, I know not where I'd be.
You mean the world to me.

I love you. Happy birthday.

1.21.2009

Covenants

I am participating in a carnival today at Rocks In My Dryer. Head over there to check out more great tips.


If you have found me via Shannon, thank you for taking the time to visit me. I am telling the story about renewing old relationships.

In the Bible, Heavenly Father gives us many examples of covenants.

I have found it to be very helpful to set up similar covenant agreements. These people love me quite a bit more than I ever realized. It's been an emotional roller coaster so far for me to accept that. To set up boundaries and have a covenant type agreement has allowed me to find an appropriate level of attachment.

So, I thought about what I expect and I talked to earthly father. And we talked about these things, and that has helped me to become a little attached. That has really worked for our new relationship, and I look forward to doing the same with earthly mother.

1.19.2009

T1 says

Last evening, I talked T1 thru some trouble she was having with her daddy. Finally, she apologized to him; they kissed and made up. Then, she says to me, 'Thanks, Mom, I could not do it without you!' Wow, where'd she get that from? It melted my heart for sure.

haircut

Yesterday afternoon, after noticing the house was quite quiet, while I was distracted by the pile of dishes... I went searching for the older ones. I heard them talking, but I could not find them.

Imagine my surprise when I find them in the bathroom in a puddle of hair. Surrounded by long locks, short snips and everything in between. Hair was in the sink, in the toilet, in the bathtub... in the trashcan, not so much.

She has a mullet. Very short in the front, quite long in the middle. T2 has an interesting cut on the top of his head. You see, T1 didn't want the bangs, which have been hanging over her eyes for weeks, to be trimmed... So we were experimenting with clips, gels, etc... and I had mentioned to T2 that he would be getting a trim over the weekend. T1 took matters into her own hands.






1.17.2009

hymn ponderings

As I have written previously, there is a special place in my heart for hymns.

This particular one is a favorite. It was learned while studying with Bible Study Fellowship International.

But I know Whom I have believed, And am persuaded that He is able To keep that which I've committed Unto Him against that day.

I know not when my Lord may come, At night or noonday fair, Nor if I walk the vale with Him, Or meet Him in the air.

But I know Whom I have believed, And am persuaded that He is able To keep that which I've committed Unto Him against that day.

While in college, the Lord arranged my schedule each year (except while student teaching) so that I could participate in this study. It laid a foundation for my faith. Encouraged to have daily fellowship with the Lord, encouraged by many older ladies who poured out love and wisdom, I flourished in the surrounding.

During this emotionally overwhelming time, I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able!

1.16.2009

commitment

This is so much tougher than I thought it would be. I love them, I really do. I am from them. I thought these relationships would be casual, easy, non committal.

The very nature of reconnecting with my biological parents is soul searching. It asks probing questions. I was 7 years old! I have memories that need to be validated and shared. I have feelings for these people that have gone unreciprocated, unacknowledged and unknown by them for 20 years. In the process, I become attached. This frightens me deeply.

The more attached I become to my father, the more I desire some form of commitment. I don't want him to leave me again. Desperately trying not to put him on a pedestal. He's a good wise man; he's kind, gentle, loving, generous. Yet, he did leave me 20 years ago. The more I talk to him, the more I like him. I see similarities. I feel appreciated. Will he tire of me? Will I annoy him? In tears, I told him, he cannot leave me again.

He reminded me our heavenly father is in charge. Heavenly Father makes the calls. Heavenly Father brings us in and out of relationships. But, my earthly father wants to know me more, wants to be part of my life. And that satisfies, edifies, and encourages me.

Yet, I have to remind myself: Jesus is more than enough. Jesus satisfies my soul. Jesus edifies and encourages, and it is Jesus who is sufficient for me.

I am thankful for these new relationships, but I am desperately clinging to a healthy perspective, keeping my eyes on Him, my redeemer, my savior, my everything.

1.14.2009

mother/daughter, father/ daughter relationship

Why is it that I feel so connected to him. And not to her? It is so dificult to get past this junk that clutters a relationship... Old feelings of abandonment being brought back to life. Why can't they stay buried?

What is forgiveness? Old hurts don't go away. They are never forgotten. Your GLORY come Lord. I treasure that day in GLORY when all of this will be burned away. Until then, how do hurts and forgiveness work together? I can only hope for that day to come and wipe away my tears. The hurts won't go away until that day. Forgiveness may be extended... Relationships can be restored... but still the ache lingers...

I bring you my broken pieces Lord, trusting you to put it back together again.

1.13.2009

my hats

This morning I have an email from my dearly beloved Grandpa. This is what he says,

You must get pretty tired with all the hats you are wearing lately! Wife, mother, family counselor, bible study coordinator and I’m sure there are more that I don’t know about. But I believe God has prepared you for such a time as this and I believe He is using you in a might way because He knows your heart and He sees your obedience. Because I believe this I am going to share with you some things that are very delicate and sensitive, but I believe that He will use you to heal them and to bring the kind of reconciliation that only He can bring.

I very much appreciate his encouragement and I covet his prayers. He sees through me and lifts me up. I love my Grandpa.

It's true, I am busy these days. I desperately want to get it all down. I am afraid in the midst of it, I will forget these treasures. Beginning soon, I am leading my brother and sister on a journey through the Search for Significance. It was recommended to me years ago, and changed my life.

I am learning how to be a daughter and accept the love which my father gives- literally. God my father has so much in store for this year in restoring relationships and I am beyond anxious to see it come to fruition. Relationships with my siblings will be restored. Relationship with my biological parents will be restored. They love me, and I never really knew it. And possibly, relationship with my adoptive parents to be restored- something real and genuine, more than, 'how's the weather?' and disappointment. They love and don't express it for me.

How can I do all this and be a mother too? I have no idea. My patience is running thin. I am tired and weak. But it is when I am weak, that He will make me strong. And I anticipate that.

Lord, help me to wear these hats, no wear them for me. That these people whom I love will see only see your glory, will see your kingdom come in my heart. Fill me up with your Spirit that I may complete these tasks at hand and those around me will grow closer to you. In Jesus name.

Bible Reading

I am reading the Bible in a year! And it is going great! It has been great starting my mornings with His words.

1.01.2009

my salvation story

I was baptized twice.

The first time I was seven years old, and I had just been adopted by some good folks who believe in infant baptism. But I wasn't baptized as an infant, so I was baptized by them at seven.

When I was around 10, I was at a church camp for one week in the summer. A pastor had us all pick out a stick that represented the path of our lives. Being a people pleaser, I picked the most crooked one I could find! He had us carry it around all week. Then he talked about how it was a burden for us and he talked about giving our burdens over to God. He encouraged us to throw our sticks into the bonfire, symbolizing our desire to give our lives over to God. So, I think I got a little of that....a seed was planted.

Growing up in Presbyterian church, we often sang hymns. So along the way, the hymns for me become more than just singing along, but singing along with my heart. I began to believe exactly what they taught. I received my Jesus education from those hymns, and my salvation. In my teenage years, I would be so frustrated and hurting, and I would just pour it all out on the piano keyboard, singing and playing those old hymns, when no one was home!

God wrote those songs on my heart. I still have many of them memorized. I sing them to the children sometimes.

In my college years, at a Campus Crusade Christmas conference, they taught us that prayer- which I prayed, just in case- but I think it set in long before that.


Having by this time read what the Bible teaches about baptism, God put it on my heart to be baptized again. By this time, my faith in Christ had become my own, and not my parent's faith. I believe I am saved by God's grace- not by my parent's belief.


An elder once questioned my salvation when I decided to be baptized. I don't think he liked my lack of 'coming to the altar'. But I know who is in my heart and I am assured of my eternity in heaven. He decided to allow me to be baptized after all!

Gold

From my favorite Christmas hymn:
Gold I bring to crown him again, king forever, ceasing never over us all to reign....O! Star of wonder, star of night....

Allow king Jesus to be your everything this year. Crown him king of your heart and allow him to heal your broken heart. Give it all over to him. Allow him to do immeasurably more! : To him who that is able to do immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine according to his power that is at work with in us. - Ephesians 3:20
I am so excited at what this year has to offer. God is doing big things in my life! The story continues. He isn't finished with me yet!