The Locator Episode 1

I just watched the first episode of Season 2 on my DVR.

And let me just say. Sometimes I am sad over my childhood experiences. My whole world was rocked the summer I was seven. I was removed from the people who loved and cherished me and given a brand new family. They did their best to care for me and give me the things I needed. But they just didn't 'get' me. And they didn't try. So, I complain. And after seeing this, I see I have so much to be greatful for.

The first part of the episode, a young woman, near to my age is seeking her mother. She also had been adopted as an older child, along with a sibling, in the late 80's. Troy finds the mother, and after quite a bit of work too. The mother wants nothing to do with her children, and it is just so sad.

I am so thankful that my parents want to know me, that they care about who I've become, that they still love me. Wow. I am blessed.

The second part is a group of sisters. They had been split up in foster care after their mother could not care for them any longer. The four sisters are looking for a fifth sister, and Troy finds them and it is wonderful.

As dificult as it was for my siblings and I, it was so good for us to be able to continue growing up together. Though we went through some rocky times and our relationships crumbled, God is putting us back together. He is setting us up on a new foundation, one that is Jesus Christ, so that we can forever be bonded together in His love. It doesn't get any better than that.

We are spread out by many miles now, but we all can be together again for one weekend this Easter. And that is so good.

Grapefruit Goodness

I am reposting this today to take part in a blog carnival hosted by Food Renegade called Fight Back Friday.

There is something amazing going on inside this fruit, and it's more than the great taste. There are several segments, seperated by heavy membranes. Within each segment, more segments also seperated by membranes, though these are much thinner, all containing delightful droplets of refreshing juice.

But I see more. I see little morsels combined together to do a good work, bringing nourishment to the consumer. Much like individuals in the body of Christ, combined, can do a good work.

I see walls that seperate, holding in, protecting the nourishment. Much like the walls around my heart, protecting my spirit from that which could puncture, hurt, bruise.

And I see children, faces dripping, taking in healthy nourishment, enjoying every bit.

The Locator

Way back when I first started this here blog, I wrote this post about The Locator, aka Troy Dunn.

You see, in the beginning this was just to be a regular mommy blog. But somewhere along the way, it changed. I changed. God changed my world.

God has been using my husband to convince me that it is time to allow my biological parents a part of my life. (They had divorced when I was young and allowed my siblings and I to be adopted when I was 7).

Then he got me watching this new show, which is now in it's second season, called The Locator with Troy Dunn. In this show, Troy, a private investigator, takes on an 'angel case.' He selects someone seeking someone and the reunion is the show, basically.

Not yet really dealing with my emotions and just keeping them shoved in the back corner of my heart, I start watching. And God starts pulling on my heart strings, calling me to His will and His desire.

So that, I've started the process of getting to know my parents. Crazy. Exciting. Sometimes overwhelming. Amazingly good for me.

Now, in just a couple weeks, my mother will be arriving to meet my siblings and I, all grown up. I may need some chocolate.

P.S. Thanks Troy

Regress

A couple months ago, we were at the library. We don't go often, what with three little ones and all.

I was teaching the children the finer points of library behavior in the children's section, while my husband was browsing the adult section. Before he made off, I requested CS Lewis. I had just finished rereading the Chronicles of Narnia for the third time and I was itching for more of his work.

Here's why I appreciate Lewis. Like most great literary works, there is something to be experienced or learned by rereading. For example. The first time I read Jane Austen, I couldn't make out a word, much less a paragraph. However, the more and more I read it, the easier it gets. And I can appreciate the humor and the beautiful descriptions. I learn something each time I reread it, and I can even anticipate my favorite moments.

The same has happened for me while reading the Chronicles of Narnia. First time I read as a child. It was a great story, but I wasn't really into fantasy and most of the beauty of the stories went over my head. Then, I read it again just before the first movie came out. And my, I the things I could see in the story. I could identify with Lucy and Susan and even Edmund and probably Peter too. And then, I read it again last fall and still I saw and experienced more beauty.

But this most often occurs when reading the Bible, for we see in the book of Hebrews that the Word of God is living and active. And each time I read this precious book, I learn more, I experience more and it becomes more and more relevant to me.

Back to the library! He selected for me The Pilgrim's Regress, a book of his which I had never known. It was his first published work of fiction. I tried to read it, but I was distracted. A couple weeks went by and I renewed the books and tried to read it again, but I just couldn't get into it. The books went back to the library. A couple weeks later, I received an overdue notice for that very book. But, I thought I had returned them all. Go figure. I had NO IDEA where that book was. I searched and searched. Another couple weeks passed. I got another overdue notice which stated I would need to pay to replace my now lost book. I confessed to my husband my irresponsibility. He found it humorous. Another week passed. And,

I found it! So, I started to read it again. And I like it. So, I think I'll keep it another couple days and actually read it.

WFMW- frozen grapes

Do you see what the children are gathered 'round? Frozen grapes! Totally awesome, delectable, healthy alternative to the sugar laden popsicle. My children love them! It Works for Me!

5...4...3...2...1

I have a new timer. I am counting down the days until a reunion with my siblings and our biological mother. And Grandpa too! I am so much looking forward to this.

In the meantime, I am working on some prewriting, so that I can update after the reunion is over. I'll be taking a break- you know! I have some ideas for things I am working on, so it may be quiet around here for a few days.

Plus, it's gorgeous outside! I just love Spring in the Lowcountry. Have a good day!

I am (nearly) daily encouraged by the good stories Ann tells.

Sunday Hymn Pondering Love Divine, All Loves Excelling

Awesome keyboard skills here: Love Divine, All Loves Excelling

I am leading my siblings through The Search for Significance. Rather, it is our Lord is leading us, because last night I was feeling tired and down, and we still managed to have a productive conversation. A very good one in fact.

The topic was reconciliation and that God has reconciled himself to us through Jesus Christ. I found there is a simple enough definition. Yet to really allow Christ to transform us requires us to cease looking for approval from others and instead only seek the approval of Christ. We can't earn that. It is a gift of grace, bought on the cross. We must allow ourselves to be transformed by Him.

You can read the lyrics here.

She Speaks...

Thanks to Moriah for the post about this opportunity...

There is a She Speaks Conference going on at the end of the summer and Proverbs 31 Ministries is providing an all expense paid (except travel) scholarship for one blessed blogger to attend.

She Speaks is a conference for women writers and speakers. They encourage and equip women to share the word of God, sharing Jesus with the world.

From their website:
It is our prayer that during this year’s conference, God will validate old dreams and inspire new ones.

This is where I get all giddy. You see it's long been my dream to speak to other women about my Lord and how He has changed my life. I've written some about my experiences early in life, but there is so much more. And it has been my hope that God would use these experiences to change the life of another, to show another about the love that is in Christ Jesus. I've attended Women of Faith conferences and thought, 'That could be me... I could be there on that stage, used by God, inspiring women with my story of faith.' But, I don't know where to begin. There is so much I could learn here.

Even if the speaking bit is a dream to be realized years from now, there is also much to be learned about the world of blogging. Transforming my blog from a personal account of what the Lord is teaching me to a story that impacts others would be no less amazing and wonderful.

Also, I have only just started this blog of mine, but I have been inspired by the likes of BooMama who will be speaking there! It'd be so fun to hear her speak.


Finally, thank you so very much for the opportunity to win a scholarship!

If you'd like to read a bit more about me, please read my more insightful posts:

The closet in my heart

How Great Thou Art

I love Jesus

I was adopted

Fears, Connections and Commitments

some people just don't get it.

T1: knock knock

T2: 'nana

T1: no, you say who's there?

T2: yeah!

T1: Knock Knock

T2: 'nana

T1: no, you say who's there! Knock Knock?

T2: 'nana

T1: I AM TIRED OF THIS! Be nice to me!

Blogging

Great discussion going on here. It's blog worthy for me.

When I started reading blogs about a year ago, I never thought I would actually right one. I was mostly looking for advice with cloth diapers, potty training, etc.

I always enjoyed writing in school, but this is quite different. One day, during an exceptionally long (very rare) naptime, I committed to it. And my blog was born.

When I started, it was just going to be another mommy blog. But I wrote this post about adoptions and reunions, and the blog of mine started to change into something different. I wasn't quite comfortable with what was happening, but I felt the Lord orchestrating it all, so I went along with it.

These past six months have brought me renewed relationships with my biological parents, whom I haven't seen in 20 years, since I was adopted at the age of 7. The coming six months will bring me real live face to face reunions.

This blog is now about my relationships with them and my emotional journey. It's also about the relationships that I am trying to cultivate with my children and other people in my life. And lots of randomness thrown in.

Peace of Christ

I have a friend today who is becoming a mother today. Only her baby will not live long. She's been diagnosed with Trisomy 13, among other serious problems. Please pray for this family's peace today. Her name is Andrea. Thank you.

Updated:
This is simply beautiful.

An organization to bless these families: Now I lay me Down to Sleep.

Freedom?

What is this nation coming to really? Will you read this very insightful article and do your part?


http://andbabymakes6.com/archives/3138

WFMW natural products

Have you read about this? You can see more information here. While I am not a fan of companies using scare tactics to motivate moms, there is truth here that we would be wise to hear.

Have you considered that newborn babies don't even need washed with soap? I just soak them in water and follow up with lotion or creme or oil. My two favorite brands (I'm not being paid to say so, I just love them that much) are Burt's Bees and California Baby.

My daughter pertetually smelled like the Buttermilk Lotion. To this day, when I smell it, I am taken back to her downy soft hair, chubby cheeks and all her baby-ness. She's not quite four and that seems like ages ago!

I have written before about my son's dairy issue here. The Buttermilk Lotion by Burt's Bees caused him to break out in hives. And that's when we discovered California Baby.

If you want to use natural skincare products for your children, you can check out more information here and here. I've also seen both brands available at Target and Publix.

It Works for Me! More tips at www.wearethatfamily.com

because you can't be insightful two days in a row...

Ah. After three days of rain and dreary weather, we are able to head back outside. Where the children play in the dirt until lunchtime and then play in the dirt some more and the mama can take turns nursing the baby and reading in the solitude, while the birds chirp in the background and the sun beats down. Yeah, it's gonna be a great day.

It's going deep today

The sermon at church this week brought my attention to a closet in my heart. The Pastor referenced an episode of Friends, in which Monica has a hidden closet. She appears to be neat and orderly, but the contents of the closet reveal the messy secret she is hiding. It's pretty humorous and you can see it here.

So it got me to thinking about a closet in my own heart. The past few months have been emotional for me. It's tough work getting to know the people who brought me into the world. The people who cradled and loved me, the people who left me. It's tough because I have to look at myself differently and I have to be honest with myself. But, that's another post...

I realized I have gone through my life so far, pridefully thinking that I am better than them, and thinking I am going to make better choices and do better things, but mostly, thinking that I will never leave my children and thinking that makes me a better person. That is what I have been storing in my closet.

The truth is it's just not about that. The truth is God doesn't keep an account of our mistakes. He doesn't give me a grade for my performance. He loves them as he loves his own son, Jesus. And he loves me as he loves his own son, Jesus too.

Because I've allowed myself to be prideful, I've allowed myself to believe that I don't need them. And God wants me to really see them and know them. The truth is, they know me. The truth is that I was knit together in my mother's womb. The truth is I was a Daddy's little girl. The truth is that I do need them, that my life can be better by having them in my life. And, I think I am finally okay with that.

*Updated* You can see that sermon here: http://seacoast.org/seriesHome.asp?pageID=38 It's called What's in your closet?

Sunday Hymn Pondering- All Things Bright and Beautiful

You can listen to it here and here.

Oh, I just love Spring in the Lowcountry! The breeze is cool, the sun is gorgeous (not yet sweltering) the mosquitos haven't become the size of birds and we can play outside all. day. long.

And play we have. We head out to the great back yard after breakfast, coming in only for eating purposes and then right back out again. After dinner, there are baths and bed. It's a beautiful routine.

We will continue rejoicing in God's creation in this fashion until summer heat hits. Then just before lunch, we will seek respite inside and wander back out again when the evening breeze blows. And it will become it's own beautiful routine.

Which makes think about this.

All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small, all things wise and wonderful: the Lord God made them all.

1.Each little flower that opens, each little bird that sings, God made their glowing colors, and made their tiny wings. (Refrain)

2. The purple-headed mountains, the river running by, the sunset and the morning that brightens up the sky. (Refrain)

3. The cold wind in the winter, the pleasant summer sun, the ripe fruits in the garden: God made them every one. (Refrain)

4. God gave us eyes to see them, and lips that we might tell how great is God Almighty, who has made all things well. (Refrain)

Read more ponderings here, here and here.

inspiring

My husband works for a really great company. There seems to be a lot of camaraderie within the departments. They send each other stories and funny videos and pictures, pull pranks etc. I just love it when he forwards me something to share from his day. Here's one:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=3967807

Works for Me Wednesday- shopping at Goodwill

Welcome to my world, if you are a first time visitor. If you are a regular, then welcome to Works for me Wednesday, which is hosted by We are THAT family. Go check out more great tips!

My tip this week is Goodwill. I read many blogs about being frugal and even a few about being green. Shopping at Goodwill can be both. If you take the time and really scavenge, you can find some great deals.

I found a Banana Republic dress last week that was less than $5. It was in mint condition and stunning. It was a very well made and the fabric alone was worth more than that. I was totally bummed when it didn't fit. But, I still found some great things.

Here's what I have found in the past week at Goodwill:

1 cotton skirt, fully lined $3.79

3 cotton tshirts, no stains, no holes, less than $10

1 set of 12 ink pads- most still in plastic wrapping $3.99 (!)

and the best deal of all, that which brought us all so much joy (and will probably cause a few tears and teach us a lesson in sharing), that I immediatly called my mothers (I have a few)...

Little Tikes cozy coupe car $6.99 (!!!)

Now, you have to be careful. It's easy to come home with a pile of junk because it is all so cheap and you get so excited that you overlook the flaws. So,

• Be critical of what you pick up.


• And be critical again before you make the purchase, giving everything a final once over.


• Ask yourself, 'Do I really need it?'


• Create a list of things you need to be looking out for and take it with you.


• Keep in mind people you'll be buying gifts for over the year. Our local stores sell overstocked Target items. And sometimes people donate brand new things. So you can give pretty good gifts for a fraction of the price.


• When I was post partum, I bought two pairs of a jeans in the current size. A couple weeks later, I donated them and recieve a 10% discount on my purchase of two new smaller jeans. I did this a few times until I reached my standard size. I had jeans that fit for a fraction of what I'd spend on brand new jeans. Works well for children who are quickly moving through sizes too!


• Look for discount days. Some holidays, Goodwill offers 1/2 off everything. In the housewares section, each day is marked by a number. On Saturday or Sunday it is the number 1. If you buy a #1 item on that day, it is 1/2 off.


• Remember, it's good for the environment too!


• Have fun. I like going with a group of women. We look for things the others may be interested in too, and then compare. Makes it fun!

Thanks for checking out my post!
Goodwill Works for Me!

are we there yet? 30 days and counting...

I wrote here about an upcoming event in my life. I am an excited ball of nervous energy. What does that look like?! It'll be fun. I can't wait to have time with my siblings again. It's been way too long. We love each other and we have so much fun together. It's going to be great.

Each day, I look at the calendar and think, "Is it Easter yet?" Surely it is the middle of March, by now? Is it really still just the first week of March? Are we not yet in the double digits?

Finally today, we are one month out from our reunion. Oh that day- what a day of rejoicing that will be! This little reunion we are having siblings, mother, grandfather, I think is a glimpse of the reunion God has planned for us. Now, that will be some serious rejoicing!

1 Corinthians 2:9 (New International Version)
However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"

Hallelujah!

In which I write something intelligent

Each day is just more and more beautiful than the last. Could the weather be any more gorgeous? I know in a few short months, I will be agonizing over the heat- will it ever go away, I'll ask.... But now, I am loving this glorious sun and comfortable breeze.

We spent the entire. day. outside. Nevermind the pile of dishes in the sink, the pile of laundry on the couch and other assorted piles which are waiting for attention. These things can wait. For now, we enjoy the sun, the warm temperature, the cool breeze.

And, we give thanks to the one who spoke it all into existence. How GREAT! you are God.

Sunday hymn pondering- Let us Break Bread Together

Let us Break Bread Together

I couldn't think of a more appropriate song for this news. God continues to work in ways in my life which bless me beyond description. While I don't often write about my family, this post is all about them!

My brother's job has him leaving the country soon. My sister lives a day's drive away, which isn't far comparatively, but with small children in both places, it isn't an easy drive. It's been years since the three of us were together in one place at the same time. My grandfather, who've I written about here , also lives far away. I haven't spent quality time with him in years (T3 was a baby)! My earthly mom also lives far away and well, it's been more than 20 years since I've seen her.

For Easter, they are all coming! We will be breaking bread together- literally, but more than that. We will have quality time together, renewing relationships and just enjoying each other. I am convinced God brought this together, and I am praying to continue to see His hand in all the details.

And I am looking forward to this:





Let us break bread together on our knees, (on our knees)
Let us break bread together on our knees. (on our knees)
When I fall on my knees with my face to the rising sun, O Lord, have mercy on me.
Let us drink wine together on our knees, (on our knees)
Let us drink wine together on our knees. (on our knees)
When I fall on my knees with my face to the rising sun, O Lord, have mercy on me.
Let us praise God together on our knees, (on our knees)
Let us praise God together on our knees. (on our knees)
When I fall on my knees with my face to the rising sun, O Lord, have mercy on me.

Sunday hymn pondering- Where it all began

I owe my Mom thanks for this collection of hymns I have. I have received a few as gifts from my husband, but most of them came from her. My favorite is the one with the celtic cross called 'The Hymnbook'. This is the book of hymns which I wrote about here. The church I grew up in had a bell tower with a dozen or more bells. Enough to play a simple melody. Many mornings, I would ring the bells with the help of a small keyboard, electronically attached to the bells, causing them to ring the melody I played. And in playing the melodies, the Lord engraved the words and His truth on my heart.

babies and the Bible

This and this have really gotten me to thinking.

I've just started reading, Inside the Picket Fence. And I love it! She is blogging about what the Bible tells us about babies and families. I find myself convicted and trying to think this through. What does God want for me? What am I to do next?

At the same time I am reading this, I am packing up outgrown baby clothes (and trying not to weep, while doing so). I am remembering that I have given away ALL my maternity clothes. Because after the delivery of T3, the doctor said, 'You're done." and I said, 'done, I'm done?' Then proclaiming,' Yes, I AM done!' And I never wanted to be pregnant again. Words cannot express the emotions of pregnancy. The magnitude of being used by God to cradle new life is awe inspring and leaves me speechless. But, I am tired and I don't think I can go through that again! Three pregnancies in four years will do that to a woman!

Yet, I see my baby moving around, trying to crawl, becoming more independant. I am thinking, sleeping thru the night = returning fertility. Am I ready for this?

I know God will provide. He always does. The ways He has provided for my life are innumberable. But still I am scared.

And I am doing this Bible study with my siblings. The Search For Significance. And the key issue in this study is overcoming the fear of failure. And I think this really gets at it. I am afraid. I am afraid that I won't be a good mom, that I will be unable to raise my children to love Jesus and honor Him with their lives. And if I can' t do that, why keep having children? But, if I can do that- then by all means, I want to have a dozen :) Because more than anything, I look forward to the day when He comes again and we will be praising Him together.

As I see it, I am at a crossroads...birth control or no birth control! Trusting in Him or trusting in man. And is it possible to be trusting in Him and be using birth control? Lord, help me!

Works for me Wednesday- Mr. Clean

I am participating in the Works for me Wednesday carnival over at We are THAT family! Go check out all the great tips!

T1 likes to color on walls. Mr. Clean has been a wall saver at our house. The Magic Eraser has been put to use many times. Our favorite use is removing crayons. It does require a bit of old fashioned elbow grease. The other thing that works for us is requiring the child who colored on the walls help to remove the marks. She actually takes great delight in cleaning the walls - for the first 30 seconds. Then she's ready for my help. I assign her a designated spot. Then, I will remove a designated spot. And we take turns like this until the wall is clean. She usually waits about a week before coloring on the walls again!

Enjoy the pictures!

Before Mr. Clean Magic Eraser:

After Mr. Clean (and some help from Mommy):

Sunday Hymn Pondering- How Great Thou Art

Oh my, God. How Great Thou Art. This is one of my all time favorite hymns. A hymn of worship and adoration to our great and mighty God.

This hymn of praise fills me up and my cup of blessings overflows. It's all about what He has done and will do for us. 'When Christ shall come with shout of acclamation, and take me home, what joy shall fill my heart." Need He do anything more for us? Isn't this promised return enough to carry us through our most difficult days here on this Earth until He comes?

As a teenager, I remember thinking of how God had worked in my life til that point. I know I am quite naive to the happenings of this world, that many of my peers have been sexually active long before they were married. Many have struggled with the difficult consequences of these actions. Because of the circumstances which brought me into this world, and that which facilitated my adoption, I believe God used these things to protect me from making the same choices. When I was a young lady, not yet married, I chose to remain abstinent, not because it was what God wanted, but because I didn't want my life to take the same rough road it had for my biological parents. And when I received a marriage proposal from my beloved, we both knew divorce was no option, because as children we had experienced it's devastating effects. Even though my heart wasn't seeking God in these issues (it was looking out for it's own best interest), I think God used those experiences to shelter me and protect my tender heart.

I am full of joy each time I ponder His coming to take me home and my opportunity to bow and worship Him, He who saved me, who has protected me and loved me. What joy shall- and does-fill my heart.

You can find the lyrics to this hymn of praise here.