my hats

This morning I have an email from my dearly beloved Grandpa. This is what he says,

You must get pretty tired with all the hats you are wearing lately! Wife, mother, family counselor, bible study coordinator and I’m sure there are more that I don’t know about. But I believe God has prepared you for such a time as this and I believe He is using you in a might way because He knows your heart and He sees your obedience. Because I believe this I am going to share with you some things that are very delicate and sensitive, but I believe that He will use you to heal them and to bring the kind of reconciliation that only He can bring.

I very much appreciate his encouragement and I covet his prayers. He sees through me and lifts me up. I love my Grandpa.

It's true, I am busy these days. I desperately want to get it all down. I am afraid in the midst of it, I will forget these treasures. Beginning soon, I am leading my brother and sister on a journey through the Search for Significance. It was recommended to me years ago, and changed my life.

I am learning how to be a daughter and accept the love which my father gives- literally. God my father has so much in store for this year in restoring relationships and I am beyond anxious to see it come to fruition. Relationships with my siblings will be restored. Relationship with my biological parents will be restored. They love me, and I never really knew it. And possibly, relationship with my adoptive parents to be restored- something real and genuine, more than, 'how's the weather?' and disappointment. They love and don't express it for me.

How can I do all this and be a mother too? I have no idea. My patience is running thin. I am tired and weak. But it is when I am weak, that He will make me strong. And I anticipate that.

Lord, help me to wear these hats, no wear them for me. That these people whom I love will see only see your glory, will see your kingdom come in my heart. Fill me up with your Spirit that I may complete these tasks at hand and those around me will grow closer to you. In Jesus name.

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