We've recently been captured by the TV Show with Troy Dunn called, The Locater. The stories really captivate my attention and pull at my heart, stories of people looking for lost loved ones. I identify with some and and it prompts me to think of my own story.
Adopted children are often told that one day someone from the past may show up and desire to reconnect. As a child, I certainly was told. My adoption was celebrated and not hidden from me, and I was content with my life. I felt no desire to go looking for lost family, especially because they had been the ones to walk away from me.
But one day, a phone call came, an unexpected message for me- just for me. Someone in the past wanting to reconnect, establish a relationship, heal the hurt. It put me down a path that I never imagined, but today I am so grateful for that call. It changed my life. Connections were made, hurts were healed, acceptance and unconditional love was found. The call was from an aunt, a dear friend. From that other connections were made: more aunts, uncles and grandparents. but never with parents.
What holds me back from the next step? Is it fear? Am I content in a relationship with my 'adopted' parents? Is it that I have never considered seeking- only considered being sought?
What would I say? How would it go? What would the relationship be like after the meeting? How does it affect my children? Maybe I don't need this, but do they?
These are the things I wonder... And I think I should write more about these experiences....
And lastly, I think of the song: 'Jesus, he can move the mountains... Our God is mighty to save, Jesus conquered the grave...' And isn't that what this is all about? Seperation.. and Jesus conquered it.... so he can conquer my fear and questions too?!