I didn't post my thankfulness last night, because we were doing this:
- Something which happened and I'm thankful for it,
- Something which happened and it challenged me or made me grow in some way,
- Some way in which I saw God working in my life to teach me something or to bless me,
- or anything else along these lines...
Even when the darkness surrounds my life
Sovereign, You are still sovereign
Even when confusion has blinded my eyes
Lord I don't deserve Your kind affection
When my unbelief has kept me from Your touch
I want my life to be a pure reflection of Your love
And so I come into Your chambers
And I dance at Your feet Lord
You are my saviour, and I'm at Your mercy
All that has been in my life up to now
It belong to You
You are still holy
Holy, You are still holy
Even though I don't understand Your ways
Sovereign You will be sovereign
Even when my circumstances don't change
Lord I don't deserve Your tender patience
When my unbelief has kept me from Your truth
I want my life to be a sweet devotion to You
And so I come into Your chambers
And I dance at Your feet Lord
You are my saviour, and I'm at Your mercy.
All that has been in my life up to now
It belongs to You
I belong to You
And so I come into your chambers
And I dance at Your feet Lord
You are my saviour and I'm at your mercy
All that has been in my life up to now
It belongs to You
I belong to you
You are still holy, You are still sovereign
You are still holy, Lord
You are still righteous
You are all knowing
You are still holy, You are still holy ~ Kim Hill
The last time I saw him, I was seven years old. When I saw him coming out of the gate at the airport, I knew him. The picture he sent probably helped. That I had two kids in a stroller and one in my arms probably helped him. But there was more. There was a familiarity to him. That I can't describe.
And when I led him around a long trek around downtown, he willingly pushed the stroller without ever grumbling about my bad sense of direction, which he admitted I probably got from him. And when my kids crawled all over him and cozied up next to his chocolate dessert at dinner, he willingly shared. And when my daughter whispered to me after dinner that she loves her new grandpa, my heart melted. And when he puts his arm around me while we praised God together and I couldn't even sing my praise, for the tears in my eyes and the lump in my throat. See I can tell you all these things, but I can't tell you what they meant to me. I can't make you feel what I felt with the words I used.
But when I took him to the airport to return home and he looked in my eyes and thanked me for letting him come, I knew something I never knew before. And I cried the whole way home and for most of the day, because something special had happened and I am eternally thankful. I am thankful for the new memories to put with my old memories. I am thankful I have a dad who loves me still after all these years who is willing to give of himself so that we can both be better people.
Now, in 24 hours, I will be face to face with my father. While I am not nervous or anxious, I feel like I am on the edge. My father is encouraging. He edifies who I am in the Spirit. But that has all taken place thru the telephone.
This is different. I will meet him in the airport and I will see him face to face. I will bring him to this place where God has given me a home and shown me a love beyond measure.
I am on the edge of something new and it just seems good.
Going on family vacation to the beach soon. Meeting my dad after 21 years soon. Having more visitors of all kinds soon and possibly taking a trip?! Am I insane?
I'll be back. Just give me a little time.
Along about July, it'll be too hot to do anything. Maybe I'll blog then!
When I left, she told me, she hoped to see me again one day. Which really reminded me of this other mother I have (which is why I am writing about all these 'grandmas'), but that is another post. And what she said, it really stuck with me. It was a seed that made this year of reunions bloom. I am looking forward to seeing her again, but more than that, I am thrilled to see her man again. That's my Dad!
Like most mother/daughters we have a relationship with many complexities. We are so different in many ways, yet so alike at the same time. I hate to admit that, but it's true.
I can't fathom how she went about bringing 3 strange children into her home on a moment's notice. She worked hard, right alongside my father, to be sure we had a happy childhood, full of experiences and memories. In spite of that, there are bad memories too. And that has put a strain on our relationship. It's not that we have a bad relationship, but that it's never been a really good relationship.
Romans 8:28 promises God lovers that He will work out all things for good of those who love Him. I believe that my mom loves God. I love God. If we go about the purpose that He has called us to, can't he also work out our relationship with one another for good?
I am called to be an 'at home' mama. My mom was not. She wants me back in my career, so that my degree isn't wasted. I believe the best use of my education degree is at home, instructing my children. My 'Mother's Day' question is this: Given these differences of opinion and value, can't my life still honor my mother and the values she instilled in me? The interpretation may be different, but the desire to serve God and live according to His plan is not different.
My hope is that she be satisfied with my satisfaction. My disappointment in her is that she is disappointed in me. Now, she wouldn't tell you that, but her attitudes and words to me stem from that belief.
My joy is in my Savior, my Redeemer, my King. My desire is that He is satisfied with the work he IS completing in me (I'm no fool, for I know He is not finished!). He directs my path (and help me Lord to continue on that path). For a long time I struggled because I thought her path and His path should be the same, but now I see it differently.
I love her and I am eternally grateful to her. I hope my life honors her.
I prayed for a fresh word from God as I scrubbed my floors to desired perfection this morning. This is what I read:
I will give thanks to You,
for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
It's healing to use God's word in the battle against the deceiver. And this song. Well, it's good too. And I am cringing over all these broken grammar rules, but I see it's not about perfection, so I leave the errors today.
This grandma has been in my life a bit more than 10 years now. She married (biological) Grandpa after we were adopted and before we were reunited. So, she came along with the reunion.
This grandma inspires me. We share a love for Jesus, reading books, correct grammar and many more things. I've seen her (and Grandpa) grow their own vegetables (and flowers!), can those vegetables (and I helped!) make bread, sew amazing quilts, and another dozen things my brain is too tired to remember at the moment. She's even helped me with my taxes!
I've learned much from her and I am so thankful to know her!
To say the least, I was really dissapointed in myself, me, the responsible one, getting pregnant when we were working for the next meal- literally.
We had help a couple times to pay rent, but we couldn't get ahead. We couldn't even catch up!
About that time, the in- laws scored a tremendous deal on a house down the street from theirs. It was about to enter foreclosure, so they were basically saving their neighbors from bankruptcy. The plan was to flip it. To say it needed work is an understatement. It. Really. Needed. Work. So, work we did. And we were about to face eviction. The in- laws were so gracious to restore it and then allow us to move in and rent it. So, we helped with some of the work. Three babies later, we still are renting it.
I remember painting my baby's room- with the windows open, people! And singing this song.
I did not want to be pregnant. I did not want to become a mother. I think I was overdosing on the fear of failure.
I watched in amazement as the Lord poured on blessings, using everyone around us. My class of students were so excited and they brought in bags and bags of hand-me-downs from their baby sisters. We had two baby showers for our northern families and our southern families. Our baby's every need and then some was supplied by these people who love us. For a couple years, I was giving away baby items that we had never even used.
I saw myself as an unfit mother. I was puzzled that this God, whom I love and worship would see fit to bless me with so many things for my baby.
The problem is, for me, that I don't love my adoption story. I wasn't orphaned or abandoned. I didn't come from an impoverished country and I wasn't collected by social services in an attempt to save my life.
The truth is I have a rather large family, a family that continues to love me over the years and the miles that seperate us. It is a family who looked for us after we were gone, especially a grandfather and an aunt who never gave up the hope of seeing me again one day.
I do love my reunion stories. They are stories which lack the words neccessary to really describe the emotion. You can read them here and here. And there's another one coming soon!
Having said all that, there's one adoption that has changed my life. That is my adoption into the family of Christ. God DOES love adoption. He did after all, choose to adopt us. It is this adoption that is the dancing that followed the weeping, the joy that came in the morning. As lovely has the reunions have been with members of my original family, I can't help but wonder what that reunion will be like.
Surely words will not describe the joy we will experience when Christ comes for us.
My second grandmother (in absolutely random order) is the mother of my (adoptive) father.
Every spring, my brother, sister and I would spend a couple days at her house in the country. She had a very large yard, with a small creek (or maybe it was a ditch) running along the side. We weren't allowed to climb down into it, but we passed much time peering over the edge.
In her yard, which was as large as 4 yards in our neighborhood, there was ample room to explore and play. There was also an opportunity to learn the value of hard work. And that is what we did. We spent a day helping her to clean up the sticks, trim back the trees and whatever other chores she needed done. When we were done, she rewarded our efforts handsomly with tuna noodle casserole. I don't know her secret ingredient, but I suspect it was love, because to this day she says it was nothing special, but we really enjoyed it. In fact, we 3 kids ate the whole pan. She now insists that we did save some for her, but I am not so sure.
It was a joy to help her. She let us play and work was an adventure. Now I live so far from her, but every spring when it's time to clean up the yard, I think of her and wish I could be there to help her again. And noone makes tuna noodle casserole like her.
We were married. We moved south. There's more to it than that, but that's another story.
Moving here with unsecured jobs was not the best plan, but we felt like God was leading us here. Circumstances made it possible. Did I mention, clueless? We were newly married and just starting out, so it was as good a time as any. Soon after husband started his new job (golf course maintence) and I mine (shoe sales), he was injured and out of work. Somehow the out of work bit alluded me and I didn't figure it out for several months. Can I also just say, it is really difficult to support two people on shoe sales?! There were some cute ones that year. And I did manage to bring in top sales each day I worked. My hunger motivated.
Fall came and I started my very first REAL teaching position in a lovely school. Husband still was out of work. Now I had figured it out, and now, husband was requesting we start a family. Really? Now? Are you out of your mind?!
Side step: I never intended to have children, says the mom to three under the age of four. I wanted the saintly position of rescuing children from their unfit mothers, says the pride of the young college educated woman.
Getting back to the story,
There was certaintly no way I was going to bear children while my husband had no job. So, says I, 'Get a job, and I'll get pregnant'.
And the Lord held me to it, because I had no intention of becoming pregnant, and yet, I did.
The Head of School where I was teaching later told about my announcement. Apparantly I said, "Dr. Smith (that's not his real name), I don't know how this happened, but I am pregnant!"
to be continued...
Here's a little of what I wrote to her:
First, I caught her up on the children and what is happening around here, then in closing:
"How I wish to be around your kitchen table again, hearing about you and the goings- on of the cousins and to just be in your company.
I remember while in college, longing for simpler days that the future would surely hold, once I graduated, but I find that not to be the case. That 'staying' home as a mom wasn't much of a job, but now I see it differently.
I see for many years your labor was intense (she was a farmer's wife with 5 children), your devotion to your family strong. What a blessing your children are to their families and that you must also be to them! I see I have much to learn from your example and I thank you so much!"
These sentiments just poured out from my hand, much like they do on the keyboard, without the benefit of spellcheck! Hopefully Grandma won't notice.
After all, it is THE reason I decided to bear children. Not really. I counted the number of cards I am mailing to mothers and grandmothers this year. There's 12. Two people with 12 mothers and grandmothers. That's crazy. If I buy into the commercialism and send flowers to each of these special people, I'd be spending about $250. That's half my monthly grocery bill! I just can't do that.
Doesn't this life I live honor my mother? Why do I have to also be consumeristic? Doesn't that go against the values I learned from my mother?
Here's what I am going to do: My list included 12 special women, mostly mothers and grandmothers to my husband and I, with a couple extra special women thrown in too! So, for the next 12 days- or maybe more, if my hands are busy with my children, I am going to tell the story of these women and the impact they have had on me!
I wasn't going to post today. At the end of church, we totally. rocked. out. this song. And I knew I had raw emotion that I need to deal with, work out, into something understandable. I hope this gets me there. It might get long...
Pastor Greg's newest teaching series is 'He said, She said'. I'll update later with a link to the sermon.
Today, he was teaching men to be godly leaders, protectors and providers. He told a really great story about his daughters and their courtships, about his protection over them from ungodly men. He told about giving them away on their wedding day. He told that their hearts hadn't been stolen, but that he willingly gave them away to these godly men. It was beautiful.
And I weeped. And I didn't know why. Here beside me, I had a godly man. A man who loves this woman, who protects and provides for his children. So, why was I weeping?
I was mourning. Where was my father when I needed that same protection of which Pastor Greg spoke? I was violated as a child. And this morning, I mourned the absence of protection. Also, last week, as I finshed Wednesday's post, I told God I was done with this, talking of this subject, which pierces me, but I am reminded that God is not done. He continually brings me healing, and I continue to write it out, to tell His story.
And later, as a teen and college student, with little sense of self worth, I allowed myself to date ungodly men. Boys, who did not value me for who God created me to be. So, again, I mourned that protection.
And the end of the sermon left me feeling let down and I didn't really know why, because again, here beside me, I had a man. A man who loves God, who loves me, who loves his children, who provides and protects. Why was I weeping!?
Then there was some unfamiliar songs. Now, I love me some songs. I love to sing. I love to feel the ivory beneath my fingers. Worship lifts my soul as I lift up my Savior, my Redeemer, my God in Praise! So, these songs: they were unfamiliar, and I didn't have the strength to join, and I was discouraged. And then. And then, there was my hymn. My familiar words, which laid a foundation for my salvation. But this time, it was not slow moving and labourous. Oh. No. Our worship leaders rocked it! And the words. They brought understanding! They brought joy to my weeping!
I understood. I learned in spite of the hurt, God: my solid rock, my salvation was faithful to me. He provided my protection. He provided me a godly man. One to protect me and provide for me, one to LOVE me! And I rejoiced. Because even in the hurting, God was there and He made a way for me.
When Darkness veils his lovely face, I rest on his unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale, my anchor holds within the veil.
His oath, his covenant, his blood supports me in the whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way, he then is all my hope and stay.
When he shall come with trumpet sound, O may I then in him be found!
Dressed in his righteousness alone, faultless to stand before the throne!
On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand;
all other ground is sinking sand.
Because Christ rescued me from that dark place, rescued my mind and my soul.
Because I find myself in Him, I can rest on Him.
Because Christ loves, protects and provides for me, I can be loved and protected and provided for by the one He sent to me.
a.k.a. Fresh salad from the garden.
And I paired it with:
corn bread, brown rice cooked in homemade chicken broth, black beans cooked w/ fresh garlic, onion, cumin and tomatoes. And you know something? This usually flavorful dish PALED in comparison to the salad. Maybe it needed some cilantro too?
I thought I had been left behind, unwanted. The news was devastating to that belief, and it took me awhile to see how I had been impacted by the false belief about myself and my family. The more I learn about myself, the more I am able to accept God's love and see myself as He sees me. I believe my post-high school journey would have been more difficult, were it not for the love of these people who were about to enter my life.
The news was from my Aunt Nene, a step-sister to my biological mother. She was offering a different perspective to my adoption story.
Here's the perspective I grew up with:
Our mother, a single mother, struggling to support, realizing she couldn't do it on her own, sought help from a private adoption agency meets older couple with one teenage son, struggling with infertility, desiring more children. Match made in heaven, right?
Aunt Nene ( I was seven when I was adopted and remembered her well) alternative version: Mother had been struggling. Grandpa had just helped her move into an apartment and get settled. One day, Aunt Nene's mom delivers cookies to an empty apartment. Family struggles to find us for weeks. Grandpa hires PI, takes new parents to court to gain custody of us. Court awards custody to new parents. Finally, she says she has waited 10 years to see me again and asks them to talk to me about it.
Shocked by this new perspective, I quickly embrace my new old family. Soon after reuniting with Aunt Nene, I meet uncles and their families and Grandpa and Grandma and cousins!
It was a beautiful day in the park where we picnicked. I remember how my uncle just stared at me throughout the entire initial meeting, while I talked about myself and what I was doing and what I had been doing the past 10 years. You know, general small talk stuff!
Grandpa and I formed a bond founded on the shared love of Christ. We all did really, but it was this relationship that began to transform the way I viewed myself. It was this relationship that brought me through some of the toughest years I have experienced. I do love my Grandpa.
I went to see my Aunt Nene as much as I possibly good while working my way through college. Now I live too far away to drive up for the weekend, and that makes me sad. But our bond is tight and it transcends the miles and the times. Whether we talked last week or last month, we understand and love one another and it is a really good thing. I love her.
Now, it's been more than 10 years since that reunion. I am continually encouraged by this family of faith. I see that God brought them right into my life at a time when I needed. I see that God worked out all the details, because He loves me and because I love Him.
Come back for more bits of the story!
Later that day,
In the midst of a diaper change, big sister (age almost 4) notices that baby brother and little brother have 'matching bottoms.' Pausing to be thankful that I was paying attention to her every word and my brain wasn't in the land of make believe, I embraced the teachable moment. Last week, you may have caught on that this topic is important to me. Anyhow...
Darkness to Light explains that it is best to teach our children age appropriate language for body parts:
I explained to her that we all have 'matching bottoms'. I told her the anatomically correct names for boy and girl parts. I told her that God made girls and boys different and that our parts are very special and 'just for you.' She identified that Daddy had the same parts as the brothers and that she and I had the same parts. We've previously talked about strangers, so I introduced them to this topic. I asked her if she thought it would be OK to let strangers see her parts or touch them, and she gave a strong NO, and then my heart leaped with joy! She said sometimes she touches there to wash, and I told her that was OK. We talked a little more about this. Then, she came over and gave me the biggest hug she has ever given to me. And I was grateful.
Can I just tell you people out there something? I was so completely dreading ever having to have this talk, but I knew it was REALLY important, so I was really thankful that it happened, but I was scared out of my mind that I would say something wrong or that she would see how extremely uncomfortable it made me. But, it turned out fine. Better than that. I'd say it turned out wonderfully.
I am here to say, you can talk to your kids about this and you must! And it isn't as difficult as I thought it would be. So, look for your teachable moment and prevent child abuse in your family!
To learn more about Child Abuse, visit Darkness to Light.
For more great tips, visit the carnival at We are THAT family.
Thank you and come again!
I was adopted when I was seven. Prior to that, I lived with my biological parents. Those years are another post or posts.
Around Christmas last year, our biological mother contacted my sister and I. Shortly after that she contacted our brother too. We began a series of phone conversations and emailing to get to know one another, to work out the questions, the conflicts, the fears and anxieties.
Because my brother will be living abroad for a few years, and because we are all spread across this great nation, we wanted to get together before he left. It worked out that we would meet her at that time. Our grandfather (her father) has been a part of my life for the past 10 years (that's another post, remember?), so we invited him to come along too. He was like a security blanket for me, and I think for her too.
I have put this post off for awhile, because I really struggle with the words to work out what transpired. There's the facts (We had 6 adults and 4 children in a 1000 sq foot home for 3 days) and there's the emotions (I just wanted one more hug).
But how do I tell about meeting the woman who brought me into the world, the woman who walked away from me and left me vulnerable to strangers? How do I share my wedding photos with the one who I wished had been there while I tried on wedding gowns? How do I welcome her as a guest, when she could have been there to help me settle into a new life with my newly wed? How do I enjoy the moments that are fleeting when I have all these thoughts haunting my heart?
I lean on the one who loves me, who gave His life that I might have this one. I lean on Him, because even though I think I could have worked it out better, He can work it out to be better.
For I know I love God, and He will work out the details of my life, according to His purposes.
And it helps to have Grandpa.
There's a lot going on in my life right now, less time to write. But, there is so much going on, there's a driving desire to write, to work it out. So many times, this exercise of writing has been an exercise of working out my emotions. I think of this one time, especially.
I'd like to add schedule to my life and routine and to my children too. Am I crazy? Is anybody out there? Do you have an answer?
Well then. I have a lot on my to do list to write. So come back. It's going to get interesting.
I'd like to try using rice flour to make them gluten free, and I think experimenting with the cheeses would be fun too. You could get really creative with the extra seasoning too...herbs, spices. Yum!
Have you read about this reunion? While my story is very different, it is a story about a father and a daughter coming together.
My Dad is coming to visit. It's a year of change for me. God has brought me out of my comfort zone by bringing my biological parents back into my life, but I am SO GLAD it has happened. My Dad's visit is still a couple months away, but here's a few things I am looking forward to:
Sharing a hug.
Sharing a walk.
Sharing my children.
Sharing a rootbeer float w/ chocolate ice cream. Mmm Hmmm!
This past summer, while at the fair, she saw the show horses. She loved it. She also saw the horses in their stables.
She promptly informed us the state of the horse. He is sad. He doesn't like to be in a cage.
I think she just wanted us to let him out so she could go for a ride. But, seriously, I am not ready for that. She had just turned 3!
It's the compassion that gets me. She really loves animals. I hope she never stops. I also hope she'd have a little compassion for her brother.
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. ~ Benjamin Franklin
This month is Child Abuse Prevention Month. And, Prevention Works For Me. Check out other great tips at We are THAT Family.
Prevent the Sexual Abuse of Children in seven steps:
1. Learn the facts: 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually assaulted as children. Sexual predators are known and trusted by 90% of victims' families.
2. Minimize opportunity: Don't put your child in a one adult- one child situations. One reason we love our church is that they don't allow one adult to be in the nursery/child care rooms. It's not only for the child's protection, but also for the adult's protection.
3. Talk about it: Teach your child correct names for body parts. Don't keep 'secrets' in a family. We have a No secret policy. We only keep 'surprises'. Teach your child about their body and about boundaries in an age -appropriate fashion.
4. Stay alert: Learn the warning signs. There may be no warning signs, but if there are signs and you don't know them, you'll regret it later.
5. Have a plan: If your child confides in you that he/she has been abused, an angry response will be damaging. Praise him/her for sharing this very difficult news. Seek help immediately. Child Sexual abuse is a crime. Report suspected cases to Child Protective Services or Law Enforcement immediately.
6. Act on Suspicions: If you aren't sure, call for help. Darkness to Light has a helpline.
Call: 1-866-FOR LIGHT
7. Get involved in prevention: If you've been affected, break the silence! Ask your child's school to implement prevention programs and policies. Donate your time and resources to prevention programs.
I put this list together based on a list provided by Darkness to Light and a research report I wrote in college. Check out their website for a more complete list.
I am a survivor. The memories of the year I was abused have been mostly blocked. The trauma of abuse wounds a soul so deeply that many people never recover completely. Look around our world. There are many hurting people. Only the power of the love of God has healed my wound.
Prevention is the answer. You can help.
Go read this post for another point of veiw at It feels like chaos.
UPDATED: I just noticed the links didn't work, so I changed them. They should work now. Thanks and Sorry!
The day my mother and my grandpa left, the left at 5a.m. My baby chose that night to sleep through the night. So, I was really snoozin' and didn't hear them as they prepared to leave. I did hear my front door open and close. I knew as I instantly woke up, that my guests were leaving. As I stumbled out of bed, I got to the front room as I saw the car pulling away.
The design of the enemy is to separate us from the ones we love. He uses sin to separate us from God. He uses hurtful events, hurtful words, distance, even death to separate us from the ones we love, the ones who love us.
The good news of the resurrection is that in Christ's power over death, there is power over separation. We no longer are separated from God by sin. There is forgiveness. When Christ comes again to call us to our new home, we no longer will be separated by hurts, by miles, or even by death. And that is good news indeed.
I told my dear husband that I just wanted one more hug. He kindly told me, even if I had been there for one more hug, I still would have wanted one more hug. In my new home, there always will be one more hug.
1. I love Jesus.
2. I love my husband.
3. I have birthed three children since 2005.
4. They share the initials, TLC.
5. I took piano lessons until college.
6. I am looking forward to getting back to it. Maybe it's like riding a bike?
7. I have a college degree in elementary education.
8. I taught in a real true school for three years.
9. Now, I teach at home. It's much more difficult.
10. My children have five sets of grandparents.
11. I was adopted when I was seven.
12. Three sets come from me. Two sets are from my husband.
13. We are determined, with the help of God, to break the cycle of divorce for our children.
14. I like to be barefoot. Even in winter, but it's okay, I live in the south.
15. I've breastfed my baby on Folly.
16. I've played in the sand at sunrise at Isle of Palms. It's the best because no one is out there at that hour!
17. I like to have root beer floats made with chocolate ice cream.
18. I pretty much like chocolate.
19. I don't watch tv. Except Jack Bauer and American Idol and probably a couple others.
20. I like to have fried eggs for breakfast, but I am fasting from them, because I suspect my baby boy is allergic.
21. I like to knit.
22. I don't know how to crochet.
23. For my first date, I went to the movies with a 'friend'. I got busted when my mom's coworker was also waiting in line.
24. I hope my daughter doesn't feel the need to sneak and lie.
25.I don't like scary movies.
26.I like Jane Austen.
27. Mr. Darcy is my favorite.
28. I listen to southern gospel music.
29. And Christian music from the 90's.
30. Mostly, I listen to Pandora.
31. Jennifer Knapp is my favorite.
32. I am a butterfly.
33. I started writing a blog after reading BooMama and Rocks in My Dryer for a year!
34. In high school, my mom made me wear a skirt to school once per week.
35. I hated it.
36. I would put extra clothes in my backpack for changing.
37. I worked in a conservative Christian school, and I had to wear dresses or skirts every day.
38. Now, in the summer time, I mostly wear skirts.
39. I struggle with feelings of insecurity.
40. I remind myself, my security is in Christ Alone.
41. I want to home school my children.
42. I am afraid I am not organized or strong enough.
43. My husband thinks they'll be socially awkward.
44. I've been able to travel a lot as a child, not so much as an adult. I've been to:
45. New York
46. Grand Canyon
48. Mt Rushmore
49. the top of the arch in St. Louis
50. the top of the Sears Tower in Chicago
52. Falcon's training camp (on my honeymoon)!
53. California (and stayed next to an avocado farm and still LOVE avocados)
54. I don't like to drive. I much prefer to be a passenger.
55. I once had free flight (stand-by) privileges.
56. I only ever flew to Indiana to see family.
57. I like to memorize scripture.
58. I can't ever remember the 'address' of the scripture I memorize.
59. I like the one that says 'we know God works out everything for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose.
60. It's been true for me in my life.
61. I am a survivor.
62. But only by His Love and Grace.
63. I love my church.
64. They can't be held responsible for my ramblings.
65. I like to eat frozen grapes.
66. I heart Burt's Bees products.
67. My all time favorite shoe is the Birkenstock Arizona.
68. I like purple. So did my great grandmother, but I just found that out recently.
69. Chocolate is my comfort food.
70. I just planted my first veggie garden.
71. I am really exciting about.
72. And a little nervous that it may fail.
73. I am most excited about the tomatos.
74. And the peppers.
75. And the onions.
76. And the cilantro.
77. So, I can make SALSA!
78. I am really quite shy.
79. This blog helps me figure things out.
80. I like to write.
81. This blog is about relationships.
82. I was thinking about doing a series on meaningful relationships from my past.
83. I like to do Beth Moore studies. She makes the Bible real to me.
84. Actually, Jesus does that. He just uses her really well.
85. Spring is my favorite season.
86. I really like the fresh fruits.
87. My birthday is in the spring.
88. And I really like the warmer weather
89. and the cool weather
90. and having the windows open.
91. On 9/11, I woke up to the frantic broadcast on my clock radio. I immediately and frantically called my brother who's a member of the Air Force to see if he was OK. He calmed me down.
92. My brother is my hero. He serves in the US military.
93. But the real reason Spring is my favorite is because Easter is my favorite holiday (holy day).
94. My Jesus is alive! and he reigns!
95. My children have, from time to time, been known to say/sing He Reigns!
96. I like real fresh made lemonade. Like you get at Chick-fil-A.
97. Sometimes, I am completely random. It's how my mind works.
98. I used to be paid to teach.
99. Did I mention I like chocolate? Real good chocolate too- not the cheap stuff.
100. Did I mention I love Jesus?
PS I am recovering from my weekend. I'll update about my reunion soon!
Every Morning is Easter Morning
Every morning is Easter morning from now on
Every day is resurrection day
The past is over and gone
Good by guilt, good by fear, good riddance
Hello Lord, hello sun!
I am one of the Easter people
My new life has begun
Every morning is Easter morning from now on
Every day is resurrection day
The past is over and gone
(Repeat 3Xs getting softer with each line)
Every morning is Easter morning
Every morning is Easter morning
Every morning is Easter morning
(Back to normal volume)
FROM NOW ON
As a child, I sang in the church's children's choir. One Easter we sang this song and had a little dance to go with it too. Every year, just like Hot Cross Buns on Good Friday, I sing this song.
Think about it. Think about the words. Yesterday doesn't matter. It's forgiven and gone. Christ is ALIVE. Here. Now. This is the day to live each moment to the fullest for Him.
Hallelujah! Hosanna in the Highest!
What is Good Friday all about?
This year, it's about a reunion. Today my siblings and I will be reuniting with our biological mother. We haven't seen her in over 20 years. I really love this song. Though my life has had plenty of good, there were large parts of sadness and loneliness. It was always good to remember the valley that Jesus walked.
Say a prayer for us, will you?
He had to walk it by Himself;
O, nobody else could walk it for Him,
He had to walk it by Himself.
We must walk this lonesome valley,
We have to walk it by ourselves;
O, nobody else can walk it for us,
We have to walk it by ourselves.
You must go and stand your trial,
You have to stand it by yourself,
O, nobody else can stand it for you,
You have to stand it by yourself.
This is one of my favorites. Thank you Chris Tomlin.When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.
Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast,
Save in the death of Christ my God!
All the vain things that charm me most,
I sacrifice them to His blood.
See from His head, His hands, His feet,
Sorrow and love flow mingled down!
Did e’er such love and sorrow meet,
Or thorns compose so rich a crown?
His dying crimson, like a robe,
Spreads o’er His body on the tree;
Then I am dead to all the globe,
And all the globe is dead to me.
Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were a present far too small;
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.
Look for the Biblical truths presented. See the words that connect us, the one offering praise, to the ones who followed Him first with their feet, the first ones to offer Hosannas to our King.
All glory, laud and honor, To Thee, Redeemer, King,
To Whom the lips of children Made sweet hosannas ring.
Thou art the King of Israel, Thou David’s royal Son,
Who in the Lord’s Name comest,The King and Blessèd One.
The company of angels Are praising Thee on High,
And mortal men and all things Created make reply.
The people of the Hebrews With palms before Thee went;
Our prayer and praise and anthems
Before Thee we present.
To Thee, before Thy passion, They sang their hymns of praise;
To Thee, now high exalted, Our melody we raise.
Thou didst accept their praises; Accept the prayers we bring,
Who in all good delightest,Thou good and gracious King.
The youtube link is a little longer this week, but it is a fantastic organ arrangement. As I have previously mentioned here, I grew to know and love Jesus in singing these hymns. It was by a magnificent pipe organ that I learned them, so I especially like this video.
Easter has long been my favorite time of year. Good things happen in the spring. My birthday, for one.
It's these Easter hymns though, that taught me the most about the Christian faith. That Christ would willingly suffer, sacrifice himself because He loves us. My husband has commented before that true love is sacrificial love. Christ showed us the example of this love. That is what this week holds.
Before that could happen, an 'exultant crowd,' the author writes, reigned him King. He is Lord. Lord of heaven, Lord of hearts, and Praise Him today, this special day with all your heart and voice.
I have pre-written posts this week. A hymn each day for this holy week. I'll keep the anecdotes to myself and put my focus, my voice, my heart solely on Him. Join me.
Hosanna, loud hosanna, the little children sang;
Through pillared court and temple the lovely anthem rang.
To Jesus, Who had blessed them close folded to His breast,
The children sang their praises, the simplest and the best.
From Olivet they followed mid an exultant crowd,
The victor palm branch waving, and chanting clear and loud.
The Lord of men and angels rode on in lowly state,
Nor scorned that little children should on His bidding wait.
“Hosanna in the highest!” that ancient song we sing,
For Christ is our Redeemer, the Lord of heaven our King.
O may we ever praise Him with heart and life and voice,
And in His blissful presence eternally rejoice!