5.03.2009

Sunday hymn pondering- Solid Rock

UPDATED: The link to the sermon is here. It is Part 2. But they are all good! Parts 1 and 2 are directed towards the men and parts 3 and 4 will be directed towards the women.

I wasn't going to post today. At the end of church, we totally. rocked. out. this song. And I knew I had raw emotion that I need to deal with, work out, into something understandable. I hope this gets me there. It might get long...

Pastor Greg's newest teaching series is 'He said, She said'. I'll update later with a link to the sermon.

Today, he was teaching men to be godly leaders, protectors and providers. He told a really great story about his daughters and their courtships, about his protection over them from ungodly men. He told about giving them away on their wedding day. He told that their hearts hadn't been stolen, but that he willingly gave them away to these godly men. It was beautiful.

And I weeped. And I didn't know why. Here beside me, I had a godly man. A man who loves this woman, who protects and provides for his children. So, why was I weeping?

I was mourning. Where was my father when I needed that same protection of which Pastor Greg spoke? I was violated as a child. And this morning, I mourned the absence of protection. Also, last week, as I finshed Wednesday's post, I told God I was done with this, talking of this subject, which pierces me, but I am reminded that God is not done. He continually brings me healing, and I continue to write it out, to tell His story.

And later, as a teen and college student, with little sense of self worth, I allowed myself to date ungodly men. Boys, who did not value me for who God created me to be. So, again, I mourned that protection.

And the end of the sermon left me feeling let down and I didn't really know why, because again, here beside me, I had a man. A man who loves God, who loves me, who loves his children, who provides and protects. Why was I weeping!?

Then there was some unfamiliar songs. Now, I love me some songs. I love to sing. I love to feel the ivory beneath my fingers. Worship lifts my soul as I lift up my Savior, my Redeemer, my God in Praise! So, these songs: they were unfamiliar, and I didn't have the strength to join, and I was discouraged. And then. And then, there was my hymn. My familiar words, which laid a foundation for my salvation. But this time, it was not slow moving and labourous. Oh. No. Our worship leaders rocked it! And the words. They brought understanding! They brought joy to my weeping!

I understood. I learned in spite of the hurt, God: my solid rock, my salvation was faithful to me. He provided my protection. He provided me a godly man. One to protect me and provide for me, one to LOVE me! And I rejoiced. Because even in the hurting, God was there and He made a way for me.

My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus' name.

When Darkness veils his lovely face, I rest on his unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale, my anchor holds within the veil.
His oath, his covenant, his blood supports me in the whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way, he then is all my hope and stay.
When he shall come with trumpet sound, O may I then in him be found!
Dressed in his righteousness alone, faultless to stand before the throne!

On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand;
all other ground is sinking sand.

Because Christ rescued me from that dark place, rescued my mind and my soul.
Because I find myself in Him, I can rest on Him.
Because Christ loves, protects and provides for me, I can be loved and protected and provided for by the one He sent to me.

2 comments:

gnandpa2tlc said...

You wept because the Holy Spirit placed on your heart the condition of the world in which we live. You wept because He revealed to you that it doesn’t have to be this way, but it is because of our pride and rebellious nature. You wept for young women who will experience the consequences of our condition. You wept because you are a wife, mother, sister, daughter and friend and you know what it feels like to be loved and protected. You wept because you know what it’s like to need protection. You wept because you know that regardless of what happens in this world you will always have the protection of our Lord and Master Jesus Christ. You wept because that’s what He does when we hurt.

vehementflame said...

I love that song! and I love this post. I understand a lot of what you are feeling. I am so thankful for my protector too.